PrefaceWhat trouble the lightworkers most are the energy attacks, while for the majority of the people who just wake up to this nightmare after the disclosure, they probably won't experience energy attacks because the Dark Forces will then have been taken care of. However, chances are that some of these people might lose it, harboring suspicion whether they were once harassed or haunted by those malicious entities. This article is for these people if they, either before or after the Event, unfortunately have sort of this unpleasant incidents.
People who never have experiences of this sort rarely understand what it feels like to have voices or images always stuck in your head. It follows you whenever you go and whatever you do. You think you would get better if you can just talk to someone, and yet the voices are still there, intruding your thoughts, emotions, and every cell of your body. And one day, it just gets worse. You begin to see all your fears "manifested" in physical forms in an unbelievably intimidating fashion. You are lying in bed in hope of getting some rest from all this disturbance, you turn around, and suddenly a clown's face with her bloody wide-open mouth comes into your sight. You shut your eyes tight, but her wicked laughter reminds you of her obnoxious presence. You cover your ears, but she begins to pat you on the shoulder. Apparently, she has no intention to cut you some slack. There is a serious repercussion to literally every aspect of your life, when a moment of serenity shounds so right for almost everyone, but just not you. It's a horrible thing to hear, let alone experience.
For people involved in the liberation, and unfortunately have this experience, the only one who can put yourself out of this misery is you. It is worse enough to experience in person, let alone perform the healing task all by yourself when all you need is "just" someone who can be there for you whenever that nightmare tightens its grip on your head. I, like many other lightworkers, also unfortunately have that trauma, and sadly like almost everyone else, also have to perform the healing task on my own. I will put down my experience as detailed as I could, hoping that people with the similar distress could recover from it if they find this helpful.
It all started when I made a decision to integrate my shadows. In a word, shadows integration means you do whatever you can to integrate your human weakness, such as anger, guilt, doubt, fear, jealousy, etc. I adopted a method called "personification" WITHOUT being fully aware of it. Personification means you "personify" every portion of your personality, emotions, and thoughts, bringing each of them into a vivid individual character of their own. For instance, you might build a character around your own jealousy, so it embodies the personality of Medusa, and is separated from your entire being. Almost everyone is doing this personification in their daily lives consciously or subconsciously. A kid may play with dolls, assigning each of them characters. A man feeling bored might talk to his dog or cat, conjecturing what their pets might respond and thus engaging in a conversation like that with another normal person. Knowing this is crucial, because we can't know what's wrong with us if we don't know we've been doing some thing SUBCONSCIOUSLY without even noticing the behavior. It is a huge mistake that will result in lots of problems, for I was unaware of using this personification technique at first. And this article is NOT to spread fear, for you already have a lot to handle in the disclosure. What I experienced did NOT necessarily mean you will experience. The problems will be addressed later.
During the early stage, I was busy integrating anger, guilt, and at the same time, having a delightful daily conversation with my higher selves, angels, GCL(Galactic Confederation of Light). I paid little attention to my fear and doubt as I had just realized that the angels and extraterritorial lives are for real, and couldn't wait to spend another second on immersing in my "daily activities" with them, in my head, of course. With the aspiration surging up inside to liberate this planet, I was also caught up in sending light and "having conversation" with the Dark Forces as I could understand their pains of being separated from Source for such eons of time. I understood them just as I understood my own shadows. But alas, things got a little bit out of control when I finally came to realize these beings are by no means just "playing their roles".
My perspectives toward these beings shifted when I read certain articles by James Mahu, where he talked about the HMS system that suppresses the Sovereign Integral. From that point on, I never found myself a normal person, because with that parasites-and-implants intel released by Cobra, I occasionally had thoughts of being attacked by these entities inside. It got worse when I watched Cosmic Disclosure, in which Corey Goode revealed certain technologies in SSP by the Cabal to purposely confuse and attack people like Voices of God, and the scalar wave technology, which was later also revealed by Cobra. Since then, my heart shattered and the trust in Light collapsed for good, and it finally dawned on me that "Ok...so these Archons and Cabal really want to take us down." After that shocking day of horror, I had lived in constant fear, always wondering when the next of wave of energy attack would strike.
But what about the personification? Why is it a huge mistake not to know it consciously? Even after seeking the protection from the Light Forces, I still couldn't stop any weird thought from popping in my head unceasingly, simply because I SO believed I was every portion of my shadows. I began to believe I was a lunatic, a murderer, an Archon, a Chimera, a Reptilian, and yes, the Yaldboath, and all the other malicious beings, you name it. Because of the misleading notion about All is One, I took it too far using personification to integrate shadows, hoping to assist the breakthrough. Both of this have together led me into believing "part of me" is devilish, and thus "lost my identity" for quite a while. Once you identify yourself with something, you will find it. It's part of our co-creation abilities. Children, adults, actors and actresses alike all have this co-creation ability, which I will later address.
I even later developed the mental belief that I suffered a mental illness and had multiple personalities. You have this doubt because you are trying to figure out what is the matter with you, and no one can give you an answer. I so firmly believed I was mad; otherwise, why else would I keep having these gnawing thoughts even after seeking the protection from the Light Forces? The only possible explanation was "part of me" did not want to be protected, did not want to calm down, and it sounded so right at that time. Those were really the dark days of my life, until one day, it just flashed across my mind that I had been using personification without knowing it. The imagination has left me painfully believing those personified thoughts and shadows were REALLY talking to me. It was then I went through a long process of healing where I no longer viewed my thoughts and emotions "as a living being". Most people stopped fearing once they requested the protection from the Light Forces, but not me. I seriously had doubts of myself being normal and sank into it.
The fear, the doubt, the false understanding of the notion of All is One, together with the personification technique have consumed me, turning me into a person I would last want to be, and I just couldn't stop the noises in my head. The mere sight of any relative TV programs or movies brings that insanity notion to mind, even if it's just from the words of strangers on the street. Then I reacted to traumas, getting stuck in the head again. What could possibly go wrong did all go wrong. I got entangled in the web of fear, dreading I would never be normal again. The more I feared, the more proof I found. Most people find a man with a tin-foil hat funny; it won't be that funny once you get to experience in person how they feel. It's a horrible sight to witness.
Subconscious Behaviors and Techniques
When that request is made allowing the Light Forces to assist in your healing, a connection is made in which you gradually dismantle the wall of fighting alone. The wound is too deep that it leaves us this sense of desolation and keeps us trapped in victimhood, ultimately with a hardened belief that "Help won't arrive/It won't work no matter what I do!" The connection with the Light Forces will also relieve you of the burden of performing the healing task all by yourself, if unfortunately, no one is there by your side for now. After making that connection, you also need to focus less on thoughts like "maybe these actors and actresses also experience the energy attack without knowing it". This is true, because it is only after knowing all this truth that the trauma becomes too great to be dealt with. Before knowing about all this spiritual prison, we overcame our fear with a much greater possibility than we could right now because we used to think all this is nothing but gibberish, and had much faith in ourselves to handle things. This means it would be much difficult for us now to handle things on our own than in the past, and this understanding can only come from ourselves. No higher perspectives can put yourself out of this misery. The more you think there is a higher purpose to your trauma, the more you find yourself a victim. Some still hold onto the mental belief that they agree to "participate in this experiment", so they can better prove themselves. But if you try to tell this to people who have experienced energy attacks, what do you think they will respond? It's not something that faith or mental belief can resolve, because all these people want is just safety.
Now I will further explain how our mind works at various stages of development. Let's wind the clock back to being an innocent child having wild imagination, playing with toys. You picked up a barbie doll in your left hand, and a plush bunny in your right. You were having an amazing tea time and a joyous conversation, playing two different characters with the toys. When you became an adult, there were moments when you had to make a decision, but you didn't know what to do. "Lassie, let's party, forget about all the tasks and wind down, you deserve it!", said the devil of you. "Noooo! No! No! Your husband is doing all the house chores for you, picking up the kids to and from school, let alone his packed schedules with all the meetings at work. Stay and help him," said the angel of you. All this is normal for you until one day you learned about all the mind control, DNA manipulation, scalar wave technology and dark entities projecting their thoughts to you, and then you thought to yourself, "Is there really a devil inside me, then why am I saying stuff like this? Oh my god...could it be some dark entities are projecting their thoughts to me!? They are projecting, aren't they?! ......Or do I have multiple personalities? I DO, don't I?!" You know the rest of the story. Fear and doubt begin to grip you tight, consuming you, and you can smell their putrid breath and feel their claws of death. People hear two voices because it's just a metaphor which is used when you are describing the inner struggle to someone else. But things are no longer the same once you know too much truth and it's understandable.
All the above is for you to be aware that the connection between certain thoughts and feelings could be severed. You need to practice disassociating whatever pops up in your head (thoughts) with that trauma-induced fear and pain (emotions). There is a solution to bypass your trauma, but it takes practices. Most of the time, we are leading a life by default, and thoughts also become rigid in that pattern. For instance, people say Mickey, then you hear Mouse. Blue is the color of depression, but not so blue for the Blue Avians. ISIS is a group of terrorists for the unawakened humanity, but a goddess name for lightworkers and light warriors. People say octopus, then you hear Yaldboath, but there are many things that denote octopus: a real creature in the sea, or the cartoon character in SpongeBob. And each association/thought induces different feelings, some are hilarious, some are cool, and some are truly nauseating.
Every time the trauma comes to surface, you try your best to associate with something else funny or positive. That way, the chances of you reacting to the fear and pain caused by that unpleasant memory would be gradually reduced. We fear something mostly because we don't want to think about it at all, and we blame ourselves every time it just pops up. So the pains caused by the trauma need to be severed, and gradually you could move on. It takes practices, but do NOT force yourself into this if the feelings are still too intense. Some scaffolding of the mind must be set up before a futher step could be taken. That means you have to STOP thinking it is your fault whenever that fear flashes across in your mind. Like I said, the actors and the actresses play all kinds of characters, and they get lost themselves in the characters sometimes. You need to have faith in yourself more, and disassociate that fear with it's-all-my-fault mentality. Every time it comes up, you replace it with "actors have this problem as well" to encourage yourself and focus on that for a while, or you replace it with "the Light Forces send me help", or any words you find helpful at present. Immersing yourself in your hobby might also help reduce the pains. But like I said, don't force yourself into this, the trauma might be still as shocking.
The healing process can be greatly facilitated once people make the decision to move on, but you need to insist on it. You won't be able to move on if the protection protocol from the Light Forces is not requested. Ask whatever assistance is needed from the Light Forces, if you feel the urge to ask them to heal your past 24/7, then do it. It will take tremendous burden off your shoulder. This process is long and tedious and sometimes, really annoying, because you did not have so much fear and doubt before. This is totally understandable. If you find this technique not useful, don't hesitate to go seek other assistance, and do whatever way possible to lead a normal life again. You are the only one that can save yourself.
Our subconscious behavior has affected us in a far-reaching way than we ever want to admit. And people might react to the disclosure-induced trauma in a way they begin to make too much of what they say and do, fearing they would no longer "be themselves" as they might hold onto the belief that there is this devil inside, this voice telling them to do the things they don't want to do. That's why people need to be aware that shadow integration does NOT mean there is a devil in you, or you have energy of both light and dark, which leads you further into believing you are both a good man and a bad man, a light being and also a dark being. This is nonsense, and serious things could happen to people if they continue thinking in that way. It might cause a detrimental lost of self-identity, with belief systems such as one is both peace and chaos, is both everything and nothing, is both sane and insane, is both healthy and unhealthy. There are certain notions that cannot be comprehended by the genetic mind of the human race, at least not until we receive proper education and guidance from the Light Forces, because we have been living under the mind control for too long a time. There will still be people who rejoice at every false teaching by the Archons as if they reached the point of evolution where they know no pains and sufferings, but only peace and happiness. There is little the Light Forces can to if people refuse to have an open mind, discarding whatever they've learned in this system.
Shadow integration is a deep cleansing process because every suppressed feeling must come out to be consciously aware of, and things could really go wrong and leads to lost of self-identity if one is to be naively thinking they are both peace and chaos. It would be like someone saying he has cancer, and he also has no cancer. That confusion could then lead one into doubts of their behavior and, ultimately fearing if they are suffering some mental illness. In this case of extreme, the shadows that need to be synthesized is just doubts and fear, particularly doubt, as it is the portal to all fears.